The Tragedy: After Midnight

The Tragedy

continued … 50sTown

Continued … 

That night after midnight, I heard a commotion outside.

Curious, I crept downstairs, tiptoed across the kitchen, slowly opened the sliding glass door, stepped into the screened in porch and stood in the shadows.

Fifeen feet from the porch they were fighting next to a big elm tree in the back yard while I stood motionless listening to their heated exchanges.

Donna was growling louder and louder, getting more hysterical by the moment sounding like she’d lose control, break through the sound barrier any second and start screaming.

With a forceful guttural sound Deac hissed at her to shut up.

She continued as if she hadn’t heard a word, in greater frenzy, closer still, to completely losing control, when I heard a piercing crack similar to the sound a whip crack or a snapped branch would make.

Things briefly quieted down. Then I heard her whimper. I slowly backed into the kitchen, closed the sliding door and crept back upstairs too afraid to listen further.

With a sense of heightened anxiety, I climbed into bed and hid under the covers where I convinced myself that what I’d heard and seen was ‘normal’ in some adult way.

Of course, I didn’t know at the time I had entered into the world of denial.  But then, what does a 10-year-old kid know about denial?

Next: The Last Time I Saw Janey



He hasn’t uttered a single word
of truth since I’ve
heard him start talking …

Not one word used in sentence that he has
shouted at us!

Yet ….

He has convinced a lot of people that he IS

speaking truth … BY THE TONE OF HIS VOICE …

Little people like the tone because it makes them feel

BIG … BIG … BIGGER ! while

Bigger people like it because it means there’s gonna be some
shit kickin’ going’ on …

(Fuckin’ A we’re great!)

His minions are coming from everywhere to worship their
commander in chief …

THEY are at his beckon command … they need what they need from him.  He gives them license …

At the same time
Mothers and Children are going to

Washington D.C. to march for the
continuing civilization of our culture … the world!

women who bear our children .. it’s the
WOMEN who are willing to stand up to be


these women KNOW .. as all women know …

what is good and what is bad.

 Maybe it’s time for the forces to meet after

all this time … centuries perhaps if
you look at it that way ..

Those women in Washington D.C.  They are

our warriors .

They have my highest respect …

They stand for Life … all of our lives …. !

THEY are standing up for US …

I wish those women well …

I wish us ALL well … !

Maybe this will help …

think of them all … even the daughters … as going up against

the forces of

Hell …

Sparking Lives

Miserable the only word to describe /sparking and unsparking/whiplash/negative charges thrown into the kiln/changing polarities/just enough to be dra

wn into/swords and suits of armor/wild assertions/positive forces negative sparks/static/crackling/lines of lightening flashes/downpours of anguished regret/the cruel heat of friction/despair/the will to punish and to forgive with confusing regularity/at odds for many reasons/in love to … or with .. what it used to be when living in light was magnified x 2.

Nick and Jessica: The Birth of Jessica’s Sarcasm

… I guess it’s a little like remembering  my fight with that dick head Rob Steiner.
What’s that got to do with anything?  


I don’t know.  I forgot what we were talking about for a second when you said, “boom’’ and Rob Steiner popped into my head.

Jessica is smiling at Nick, the corners of her mouth turned down.  She knows Nick is playing her.

Stop looking at me like that Jessica!  I know you’re making fun of me!  I’m a sick man remember? I’m handicapped. I should have one of those blue tags to hang on the rear view mirror except I’d probably forget where I put it.

…. if there was only one handicapped parking spot in the whole Wal Mart parking lot you’d probably forget where you parked your car! You’d probably forget your ass if it wasn’t attached to your butt. He he ….

Right. That’s a real good one. So, what’s the difference between my ass and my butt?

It’s too hard to explain Nick …

The limits of your sarcasm know no bounds do they Jessica?

Don’t complain about my sarcasm. You fathered my sarcasm that time in 6th grade when you were getting a drink of water and that ass-hole Rob Steiner pushed your head down and your nose hit that round metal thing where the water comes out and you got that bad ass nose bleed? You were bleeding all over the place and I thought it was so funny.   You were so pissed.  I was pointing my finger at you: I called you ‘’red man’’ and gave you my hyena laugh. You said, ‘’Shut up Jessica, or I’ll throw blood on you.’’ I could hardly understand what you were saying with your hand over your nose and mouth like that.  “Go ahead,” I said then ran away laughing. I never made a sarcastic remark until that time. You might say that you were the reason this unique and charming aspect of my personality came into being.  So thanks Nick, for making me the sarcastic bitch  I am. he, he …

I don’t want to go there, Jessica …. you DO know that I beat the shit out of Rob Steiner later on in 9th grade, don’t you?  OKaaak, okaaa … so it was 3 years later and for a completely different reason but, I got him good in the back of the school after he challenged me to a fight.   A lot of people were there.  Even a lot of the “big kids”.  He called me a son of a bitch and I bashed him in the nose.  I think he bled a lot more than I did.  I think I …

Jeez … I forgot all about that fight.  That was a pretty emotional day for me.  You just dredged it out of my memory.  I can see it crystal clear now.  Maybe that’s an example of one of those “other world” experiences you’re always telling me about.  When you mentioned it, the whole experience just popped into my brain crystal clear … It was so ‘unreal’ … how could I forget?   Just before you punched him, he called you a son of a bitch.  It seemed to make you so mad.   

About a week earlier, my dad told me that if anyone ever calls you a son of a  bitch, they’re calling your mom a dog.  I’ve often wondered what would have happened if my dad wouldn’t have said that.  When Reiner called me a son of a bitch it made me so mad.  Who knows, if my mom hadn’t entered the picture maybe Rob Stein would have kicked the shit out of me!

I guess you got lucky.  After you hit him and the blood gushed out, you turned around and stormed away real bad assed like. Your fists at your side.  Ooooh …. scary.  The crowd parted for you like the Red Sea.  Jeez Nick, think about all the symbolism. (Jessica uses her finger to name things one at  time) Rob Steiner made your nose bleed.  It was the birth of my sarcasm then, an ocean or a SEA of RED blood came  pouring out of  Rob Steiner’s nose and THEN the crowd is parting for you … like you’re frickin’ MOSES parting the Red Sea!

(Jessica makes a funny gagging noise inside her nasal passages … ghghghghghg …)  

Hey, that’s pretty good Jessica.  I should have changed my name that day.

To what?  Moses?  Jesus  Nick,  that would have been kind of cheesy . …..  

No you stoop!  To Red!  ha ha ha I got you on that one didn’t I Jessica!  Pretty funny huh?

Yeah, that was a good one!  A real zinger, a regular laugh riot … I almost split a gut laughing … it was the funniest thing I….   continued …