The Agony and the Ecstasy II




continued …. “Gosh,” I realized.  “Despite the fact that she doesn’t have an enlarged prostate gland and I’ve never had the urge to commit murder we have a lot in common!”

Creative Genius

I compared and contrasted the motivations of the diaper clad, crazed astronaut with the agony I feel when I have to pee while speeding along the interstate at 85 mph trying to get from point A to point B without getting killed, put it all into a neat little package, mulled it over in my head for a couple weeks, discussed the situation with Jodi and made a decision.  

“Yes!” I thought.  Being an adventurous type I declared, “I’ll wear the damn Dependz and be a better person for it!  I’ll be a super hero .  I’ll be …  Dependz Man!”

Look, I don’t feel embarrassed about “coming out of the closet” as a diaper clad older dude because of the solid reasoning behind my decision.  And, like I’ve always said, “form follows function,” or to put another way if it’s not fixed don’t break it again.”  

I Have Choices! 

I mean, I DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS!  I’m not a doddering old incontinent fool Goshdarnit!  On the contrary I’m thinking about changing my name to Benjamin Button!  

Seriously, other than an abundance of titanium and ceramics at various ball and socket joint locations throughout my body I have no organ miscreants within me at all.

All systems are running smoothly.  Everything is a GO.  A-OK.  With the exception of …my bladder.  

continued …

The Unknown Journey


All good things all sweet delight; the sun, life’s beauty, love given freely, laughter, innocent humility they come alive upon birth.

With mirrored feelings along the road of trials and tribulations seasons change when love returns forsaken.

The sighs of broken days remembered, the haze of misread feelings, shattered lives un-mended, the search for love unending.

We live within the salty air,  a swirling mass of forces between us all, the face of love defining all meaning before the fall.

The plight of life, the unknown journey, along our separate paths we choose.

Within the brightest light and through life’s darkest night

we move.

Traveling the Web of Time the Mysteries of Life Unknown

We are a travelers moving along a web of time within the mist of life, the light from somewhere given; outside, within and in-between seldom seen …  at best, reflected.

We make decisions, where to go, how to get there, what to think and feel, assuming truths affirming movement we’re not sure of, through space most often blindly.

Life is like that; crossroads, turnings here or there, seconds late determining fate, returns returned again and once again returning, differing paths we navigate, endless toil, obliteration, sensory pleasures, death, fulfillment, broken hearts;

to learn or not to learn (that is the question … !),

wandering paths through space unknown, face to face with those we think we love?

We want to love but, is it love we crave more than the ones we may or may not love?  For, don’t we give love to those we may not love at all?

We drag through murky spaces, love’s truths obscured, half known half not knowing … self importance, interfering combat, crackling static,  white noise, huge space separating single spaces, seldom crystal clear.

We take our chances.  We make our choices.

We fill our lives with dreams? Or are they fantasies?

 We self induce our misery.  We thrive on living pain.

And who’s to blame?

I Wasn’t Even Trying To Be Funny … !

– 3 –

if I had the balls to say 

” … hey, i’ve gotta go, i left my car 

running … “

i’d probably be just as 

capable of saying, 

” … hey, i gotta go, I’ll see you guys 

later … ”  

continued … from -2- 


 so anyway, the first thing I did when I

got into the



get stuff out of my


box …


then, I sat down at the


to check my paper work

one more time


read a memo about


education …


jennifer, linda and carol were

sitting on the

other side of the table where I


facing carol

who sat behind her

desk …  


they were discussing which one of them wanted the

stray cat

they’d been feeding  

outside the office

for the past 


months …


while I read the memo Carol told 


she called yesterday for an



since I didn’t

call back

she had to

cancel the

order …

 … she said she left me a message …


i didn’t say anything


the room got


quiet …


i think that

within the silence of the 


she was


… by implication …

why I didn’t return her

call …


i just sat there scanning the

memo  …


i thought … 

was i supposed to be feeling

guilty or

something … ?


….. for christ sake, you’d think it was

common knowledge

by now that


rarely check my

answering machine … !


doesn’t a person have the choice 


to answer answer their


machine … ?!


what if something


happened so I couldn’t

check the 

thing … ?!


i wasn’t going to let them get

the best of

me …


so I kept reading 


maybe I muttered something like,

‘’well, you know how it goes, 

blah, blah, blah …. ”



the woman named Linda … 

( … who’s pretty aggressive … )


 “why do you think phones were 

invented … ?!’’

continued …