He’s A Bad Mother …… Well, I’m Talkin’ ‘Bout ….. !


He’s A Bad Mother …. Well I’m Talkin’ Bout’ ……

In a fit of not rarely happening ridiculously dumb, funny shit that I’ve done and do, that happen to me constantly and because I’ve been moaning in my sleep lately and because of my hip, I decide to sleep in the little tv room on the ‘day bed’ where I go to watch my classic movies and write, when I come awake around three a.m.

Hungry for all kinds of things in the middle of the night, last night it’s for a piece of cheese.

So I stumble into the kitchen, get myself a small chunk of sharp cheddar and a plastic cup of water so I can rinse my mouth after chomping down on the cheese.

I lay on my right side holding the water in my left hand close to where I know I’ll soon be drinking it.

For the heck of it, I flip on TCM just in time to see the opening credits for the movie Shaft.

Oooh yeah! I love that Shaft theme song by Isaac Hays, don’t you?!!

One of the coolest, bad ass songs ever!!  So I listen and watch but I’m already feeling drowsy.

I’m just finishing up with the cheese, still in a semi reclined position when I hear, ’He’s a bad mother ….. SHUT YOUR MOUTH … well, I’m talkin’ ‘bout ….. “

The last thing I remember is, ‘well, I’m talkin’ bout,’ when I briefly nod out, my muscles immediately drooping into sleep mode in compete relaxation for less than a split second when I drop an entire half filled plastic cup of water onto the left side of my face most of it going into my left ear, the remainder going into the day bed.

I don’t know what to do first!

The day bed is wet but I feel pressure in my ear so I jump up and start thumping the right side of my head with the palm of my hand!

Pretty sure all the water has leaked out, I turn off the t.v., I grab a bath towel from the bathroom trying to sponge up whatever water can still be reached at the higher levels of the substrata below.

Finally I fall asleep.

I sleep fitfully, waking at seven.

I THINK I had a dream about being on the Titanic but I’m not sure.

Just kidding!!

When I come awake at seven I wonder why it feels like I have ‘swimmers ear’?  Then I remember why.

For the longest time I can’t get the Shaft theme out of my head.  Finally, an idea comes to me that, the four of us;  Matthew, Jamie, Jodi and I, could make a video of the four of us lip synching the Shaft theme song as part of a video Christmas card to everyone!

(sad to say I’m pretty sure the chairman of the board has ‘tabled’ that suggestion at least for now.)

But, isn’t it strange how creative ideas just pop into your head at the weirdest times sometimes for the weirdest reasons?

For the longest time, I keep hearing that great song running over and over in my head, enjoying every moment of every part.

“I’m a complicated man but no one understands me but my woman …. “. Ummm,” I think, “Does that make me a, “bad mother ………. “?

“Oops, sorry,  I’ll shut my mouth.”

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