Miriam

Further adventures of Gile Steel.

So, there he was at the hospital exactly a year later at the same time, same place having the same procedure in the same room, next to the nurse’s station, by the same SURGEON where,  a year earlier several factors came together in the middle of the night causing  an unexpected event to happen after his nurse gave him a tiny pain pill to alleviate the fiercest, most relentless pain of his life … then told him the next little pill would NOT be due for another four hours … (four fucking hours?)!

After the nurse left his room he thought about what had just happened then, in a drug and pain induced brain fog he pulled the tubes from his left arm and, using the food cart as a walker made a half assed attempt to escape the hospital for some unknown reason.

From that point forward the “real” world was rearranged, reconstructed and put back together again when  the strange spector of a man appeared moving down a darkened hallway at two a.m. looking very determined, pushing a food cart, wearing black shorts t-shirt and a pair of white TED hose, where he stopped and was seen telling two nurses, a CNA, a security guy (with arms crossed over golfing shirt … NOT proving that he was a bad ass),  that he had every right to leave the hospital if he wanted to.

Soon aft he returned to his room and fell asleep on a lounger that took a bunch of pain away, after the charge nurse downstairs (an Air Force Academy graduate) convinced him it would be better if he DID return to his room.

And so, he did.

As to the significance of the occasion? He told me, “When an unexpected event occurs, you get startled out of your senses and if you’re lucky unusual forces from all over the place join together, making all kinds of sparks and new connections and shit that gyrates, that sends light out crossing with other paths, pinging, making, striking all colors never seen, crossing, drawn from people normally grazing grass turned brown, bored, lonely.”  I loved the way he described it.

“Most of the time we steer ourselves along on rigidly separate flight paths, he said.

“We are all far flung variables of differing spectrum with varying degrees of heat that would NEVER have crossed paths, becoming heat/light broken/arcing/\ tapping new rhythms, twisting smoke like colors never seen/sparks and brief waves of light drawn into the void of all their dark spaces, the space of “being”, during the event,  that ends with people usually returning to their grazing.

They go back to their separate flight paths but with fundamental change.  Maybe startlingly singular unexpected conflagrations such as these, reach into our genome level,  depending on intensity,  The genome makes a recording of the event using stripes and numbers, the recordings are a measure of intensity.  They’re probably color coded constantly building, writing it’s own individual formula, building building.  Intent to reach some point in time … to ‘build out’.  Anxious to accomplish the task or just doing what’s necessary to move about?   Recording of events totaling itself within the endless array of neural connections it has been  branching off and growing ….. we see evolution as a result.”

I must have looked perplexed so he explained, “Everybody’ every day has experiences that impact and startle them awake, that affect us on a fundamental level.  A split second after surprise comes the relief of being safe.  We laugh in relief that we are still alive.  People love to be scared at least momentarily.  It’s what we call ”funny” hahaha” … it’s a part of the primal instinct not to get eaten called, self preservation.”

“War is the most powerful experience bringing about change.  Self preservation reduced to it’s fundamental boiled down to black hole level.  But war is no laughing matter.”

He loved the absurd humor of these situations; the startled first time behavior, the surprised looks, the brief return to childhood, a re-creation of the 16 year old smile, faces dripping smooth then frozen in time with white teeth and sparkling eyes, adding color, filling in a few of the voids within,  boiling it all down distilled and rendered into pure unadulterated … laughter.

He joked, “The opposite of war.  Haha ha ha ..”

Next:  Miriam

 

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