#6

How are the transplants doing?

 I’ll send pics. By the way, I had an epiphany when I separated the word trans from plants. Maybe I understand what transgender means now. Isn’t it kind of like almost sorta like grafting a tree?

There’s a series on TV called Transparent.  It’s about a father who becomes a female. Get it? Trans-parent?

Transparenting! I get it! Long distance truckers are backing a bill … oh never mind … maybe there’ll be a day when one single person can fertilize an egg AND birth the child. Transporting through trans sexual transitioning of sexual roles …

I heard there was a problem.  One of the trannies didn’t tell the other he was a male and ended up fuc ….. oh!  sorry … ! Better let that one go.

Lets stick to walnuts and oranges here. I heard there’s new variety of tree called Mueslix tree.

Good god! The wonders of science! What will they think of next?  Dehydrated water?

I heard it’s on the distant horizon! I also heard they’re working on parachutes that are so light they can hang on clouds!  What do you think of that?

I think I want a trans brain. Maybe I could have part of Brian’s brain so I can recite complete movie scripts, have an engineer’s spacial perception and make really funny faces at the same time.

I hate it when he makes those faces! It ruins the story.  They’re so grotesque I forget what the story’s about.

Well .. you gotta take the good with the bad with this trans stuff.

Yeah like, maybe shit’s trans since it’s soil that hasn’t come out of the closet? And what about these trans fats? Does cream come from cows who have been blindfolded since birth?

I don’t get it?

Neither do I.  A second ago it made perfect sense but when I said it I got confused.

You just lost your thread.

It felt like I lost the whole spool there for a second.  Maybe it was my train of thought?  Maybe I need a train spotter.

That’s probably it.  Hey … maybe I can get a trans brain from Jay Leno so part of the time I could be funny and not morose all the time.

That way when you got depressed you’d call it trans bi-polar temporary insanity.

Temporary insanity! That’s ok!  I can live with that. The rest of the time I’d be a laugh riot!

They’d have to keep an eye on you.  Laughing rioters are a menace! They think nothing of calling Grant’s tomb the funniest thing since chocolate pie.

They’d use trainspotter’s to keep an eye open for me, wouldn’t they?!  Oh .. Hey!  Call one to those gestalt cars to transport me away from this silly shit will you?

Why don’t we just have another cup of coffee and a piece of pie.

Are you buying?

I haven’t the faintest.

Well then ,,, I don’t mind if I do.

Advertisements