The Case of the Missing Furniture
Thursday morning I think I awoke from what I thought was a dream; doors banging open and shut echoed throughout the house/the four walls devoid of shadows looked strange and naked. The outlets seemed bored without their plugs.
I knocked on every door and looked inside. Nothing!
Was it a dream?
That morning I drank my coffee on the porch the yellow sun on my feet my face in shadow, before realizing every stick of furniture had disappeared!
I called the police!
Two cops told me, “Something has to be missing for two days before it’s missing.”
“But what if its all on a big semi headed for North Carolina or down by the Swale River holding the asses of some homeless people drinking their muscatel, red stains all over on the arms?’’ I replied.
They left in a huff shouting, “Homeless people are out of our jurisdiction!”
Hmmm … I remembered seeing the E.M.T. people around. Maybe they were in disguise that day?
Shit! Then I remembered! The E.M.T.’s had visited my house at least ten days prior.
(They told me I was having an anxiety attack. I wouldn’t tell them my chair was a giant hand threatening to pull me into some abscess below the foundation of the house. I hid my feelings but, what a ridiculous thought! I live on a cement slab!!)
“But I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
A while later I said good bye despite her offer to tell me everything she knew.
“I’m perfectly happy,” I said, “wondering what happened. I don’t need to know any answers.”
I stuck out my thumb. Houses and bison sped by for quite some time.
Whew! Finally, it seemed I had arrived.
The driver .. an attractive 30’s something police officer her auburn colored hair pulled back so tightly it seemed her eyebrows were in suspended animation (giving her a look of constant wide eyed wonder), wearing a green uniform, a gold badge attached to her breast pocket .. told me her name was Devereaux.
She opened the door. I stepped inside.
“So, where are you taking me?” I asked.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she said turning her head back toward where I sat, a smile of wide eyed wonder on at least half of her face.
“Well yes,” I said indignantly. Then, “Does this have anything to do with my missing furniture?”