Nick and Jessica Ask: Why Was the Telephone Invented? Was I Because Of the G Spot?

Here’s a funny one that happened at the office the other day,  Jessica..

Lay it on me Nick.  Oops!  Did that come out wrong?

I think you said, ”Lay on me?”

He he he … !  Shut up Nick .  Maybe I did but … tell the frickin’ story will you?  (Nick and Jessica smile at each other.)

Wull, one day last week there was a work assignment so they called but, I missed the call.  A little while later I showed up at the office. This is what happened.

Pause …

Ok so, the three of them were talking.  I was doing my paper work when Carol, she’s real aggressive says, ‘’Why do you think phones were invented?’’

For some reason I stared over at Suzanne’s office, behind the wall on the other side of Carol’s desk, into the space between the edge of the open door and the window on the far wall.

Don’t ask me why I looked at that particular spot. I just raised my head and fixated on that spot for a split second.

I was thinking about Linda’s question, wondering why telephones WERE invented. My first conclusion was , I knew damn well telephones weren’t invented so that people could be called for work assignments.

Well you know I was being completely over analytic …

As usual …

… coming up with all kinds of conflicting thoughts. For a split second I even saw Alexander Graham Bell calling his assistant, what was his name ? ….. was it Watson…? to come upstairs because he had spilled some chemical on his hand.

All of this thinking and wondering happened within a split second but, I guess the timing was just right … you know, one beat, two beat.

Pause ..

Are you waiting for me to start playing the drums on the table Nick?   Hey I never realized you’re a door peeper!

You learn something every day don’t you Jessica?

Silence …

Anyway, I guess they were waiting to hear what I was going to say so, there was some suspense in the air when suddenly I realized I didn’t know why in the hell the telephone was invented.

I felt this kind of confused or maybe it was a concerned look, come over my face. I said, ‘’Wull .. to tell you the truth I don’t know WHY the telephone was invented.’’

I guess I hit three funny bones at the same time since a wall of sound washed over me … you know, that high pitched cackling sound women make when they all start laughing at the same time? It practically threw my head back. I thought I may have aggravated an old football injury.  Don’t they call that the G note, or something like that?

I think you got it all wrong there Nick.  But it would be my pleasure to enlighten you on the difference when the time is right.  

Oh yeah … right!  Jeeze Jess, I’m pretty excited about that.  Isn’t the time at hand always right time, Jess?

Nick looks at Jessica … a sly look on his face.

Don’t get sidetracked Nick.  Gimme the punch line o.k.?

O.K. So, what’s funny is, I wasn’t even trying to be funny. I think it was one of those moments when you find yourself being honest in an almost unconscious way.

The words just popped out of me.  It seemed like I was having one of those out of body experiences.

The thought of total and complete honesty is so far from people’s minds … maybe because it’s so rare… it catches people totally unaware; it’s totally unexpected and… then it makes them laugh.

Gosh Nick, you’re so funny.  Even when you’re not trying to be funny ‘yer funny aren’t you?   

Pause …

Goshdarnit Nick!  You showed ’em whose boss didn’t you?  Real power comes in response to that G spot … I mean note … 

Wull, you’re damn right Jessica.  They won’t do that again! (Nick looks at Jessica, a ridiculously serious look on his face. Jessica’s eyebrows are arched in mock seriousness.)

Nick and Jessica dissolve into laughter.  Pause …

Now, what about that G thing Jess?

He he he …. 


Published by midcenturyman

Mid century vintage man/dad, degreed, experienced, musician, music lover, photographer, writer.

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