The Kathy and Derek Chronicle: “There’s A Penis On That Sign Can’t You See It?”

Once again, I turned to look at the yard sign.  But, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Scooter Guy who was attempting to mount and drive the scooter away from where he had fallen. 

 One wheel of the scooter rested on the black top of the street where I waited at the Stop sign.  The other was on the shoulder of the busy cross street I had been waiting to cross over.  

If things continued the way they were going, Scooter Guy would soon be driving on the shoulder of the busy street against traffic!

(Across the street, a wide gray concrete bike path watched Scooter Guy with cold indifference all the while thinking, ‘’Jeeze, what a dumb ass.”)

When I finally DID look at the yard sign all thoughts of Scooter Guy disappeared. 

The penis inserted between the A and D seemed to have grown much larger and more prominent than before!  I asked myself,  why in God’s name would ANYBODY insert a penis between the R and D of a  yard sale sign in the first place?

I turned my head to look back at Derek.  I peered into his eyes.  Pointing at the sign I hollered, “There’s a penis on that sign!  Can’t you see it!”

Not much had changed since Derek had given me the big bear hug.  His eyes were still squinting.  His lips were still stretched into a wide grin with his teeth  showing.  In addition now, his head and shoulders were bouncing up and down and up and down from laughing, which gave his face a kind of blurred image.

Suddenly he turned away.   An instant later all I saw was the back of his flannel shirt receding, getting smaller as he rushed toward the passenger side of his car.

continued …