Jee-sus Jessica!  Woody had had a smaller body than your dad didn’t he, for crying out loud, why wouldn’t he have a smaller dick?

I guess I was pretty stupid but what do you expect from a four year old brain? If you’ve only seen one c_ ck for the first four years of your life … not that i saw it that often … you tend to generalize.  You think that all c..ks are the same size … not that size matters of course … .  Well anyway … I don’t think there’s that much difference between the genitalia  of women, unlike your species with it’s wide variation of penile personalities and looks.  

Oh, is that right Jessica  …?

Here’s something I just realized Nick.  

Hey .. a penile epiphany?!

 Listen to me .… it amazes me that with all the variation among men’s c_ _ks that they all have the same first name …… you know ………. , Peter! (Jessica is laughing but only her stomach laughs and little puffing sounds are coming out of her nose)     I guess their last names are  what distinguish each different c_ ck  from all the others.  (Nick’s mouth is agape.)   Like your _ _ck would be named Peter Michaels.  Don’t you think that having a name for your c_ck makes it so much more personal,  Nick?  Like, if I was screwing around with you all afternoon .. i said IF I was … and when I got home my mom asked me what i did all afternoon all I’d have to say is,  I was with Peter Michaels, right Nick?  How do you think that would work out.  

That’s a funny thought isn’t it?  

Well yes Jessica.  That is a funny thought but, don’t you think she’d be dubious no matter what name you used? Or wouldn’t your mom think it strange that every date you had was with a guy named Peter but they all had different last names?

So, don’t tell me any jokes I don’t already know. I’m not that kind of girl and you know that … 

Yes I do know that Jessica.  Jessica Harvey, you are beautiful in every way.   Well listen, I got a question for you, miss smarty pants …. what about families where there are a couple of brothers with the same last name?  How would you work out the problem of giving their d_ _ks names?

… in cases like that you could use Dick or Rick or even Richard.  hmmmm ,.. i bet they have special problems in China Nick.  You know … there’s a laaaatt a Dongs over there Nickey boy!

Nick and Jessica dissolve into laughter.  Jessica is making her hehehe sound, her face is red and a vein down the middle of her forehead is visible.  She looks at Nick with a pleading look on her face.  Her eyes are about to overflow with tears.

A lot’a dongs over there!!  hahahaha …. ..  Oh my God Jerssica.  That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. You’ve had a loooong dry spell there Jess.  This one was a real ”topper”.    hahaha ….

You are so goddamned funny sometimes … jeesus.  The rest of the time you don’t know shit but … no no I didn’t mean it that way.  You know that.  Ok so let’s look at it this way. First of all,  i can’t imagine a guy’s c_ _k named Dick Dick but .. that’s something we can talk about later. What i wanted to say was .. shit Jess … let’s face it, you haven’t seen that many male genitalia …  as you call them … to know hardly anything about men’s c_cks.  …….. And where do you get off making statements about women’s p_ _sys Jessica?  You’ve probably seen fewer p_ _ seys then you’ve seen c_ cks.

Wull, I’ve seen my dad’s and  well … a couple more maybe … and i  ….

Oh yeah!  That’s a huge random sample Jessica.  You’ve seen your dad’s c_ _ck and several on the internet so I guess through extrapolation that makes you an expert on every man’s dick in the whole world, right?

….  got a lot of information off the internet.  and of course i know what yours ….

Hey!  I can see where this conversation’s going.  I wanted to relive the time i saw you beating the shit out of Terry Scrivner that day he shot you in the face with his b.b. gun.  But as long as we’re going down the yellow brick road of penis’ and vaginas …. continued …