it’s fun to talk to Little Monster Girl! …
…..
she lives in Berlin so,
she’s very opinionated …
i interpret her esoteric and very fun
comic stip
(Little Monster Girl …..
(https://lmgcomic.wordpress.com)
and my interpretations always
hit the mark ..
(or so she says) …
…..
we both believe in that
yin/yang stuff …
you know …
dark and light and
everything between …
(wull … i have to admit …
she knows more about that stuff
than me … )
…..
the other day we had another one of those
yin/yang discussions
about oatmeal …
her favorite food …
……
i don’t know who the
‘yinger’ or the ‘yanger’ was in
that conversation …
you can be the judge …
here’s her side …
…..
“Who would put all that gobbledegook on oatmeal?
(strawberrys, honey, this stuff called chia seeds, sea weed, etc. etc.)
“Oatmeal doesn’t want all those other things in there with it!
Oatmeal is sacred!! And so am I!
Oatmeal just likes its friends …
water & milk, and maybe,
a little
sugar …
That’s all!
That … Is … All … !
I’m sure some hedonist oat meal eater out there
has a different opinion than me!
But you can’t change me! I’m an oatmeal conservative!
One cereal, one topping. No more!”
…..
i thought she was speaking from the dark side of
yin/yang …
” … all that suffering from lack of good stuff … “
i said,
‘’Jennifer … that’s some dark shit you’re talking about … .
it’s good to be a hedonist!
it’s why we have taste buds
for crying out loud … ! ”
…..
” … i like oatmeal that
comes in a bag and
all you have to do is
add hot water …
i put extra sugar on mine … lots of sugar … !
ummmmm …..
sometimes i add a piece of cake on there and
droozle on some hersheys chocolate
right out of the can …
i top it off with cool whip and a scoop of
pralines and cream ice cream …
there’s a lot of protein there … and
the good kind of carbs …
oatmeal is supposed to cleanse the veins isn’t it … ??”
…..
” … i’m leary of those chia seeds …
i got one of those
‘chia heads’ for christmas one year …
it grew so much grass i had to give it a
butch haircut ever other day or so …
i heard that if you don’t chew chia seeds good
and don’t wash your mouth out afterward …
grass will grow on your gums … !”
…..
” … jennifer … ! FYI …
I too am a purest when it comes to oatmeal …
in fact …
growing up
there was a field of oatmeal growing
right behind my house … !”
…..
” … i don’t like the kind of oatmeal
you have to boil and cover and wait while it’s
on the stove ”steeping” or ”sleeping” or
whatever you call it …
schtooping? is that it?
i think it’s schtooping … “
…..
” … my home economics teacher used to say,
”it’s schtooping you stupid tuber head!”.
i think what she meant was,
‘ .. you’re fuc..ing stupid you potato head … ‘
maybe Mr. Potato Head was
her favorite toy
growing up … ??”
…..
” … anyway ..
when you cook raw oatmeal
it takes so long ! !
jeeze …
… when i want oatmeal …
i want it NOW … !!!!!
like that rice that comes in a bag with holes … “
…..
” … not to get off the subject but …
that rice in the bag with holes in it .,..
ummm supremeo.!…
if you time it just right you can get the
rice bag and a big bottle of
Paul Newman spaghetti sauce to
come out at
exactly the same time!
usually around 6 minutes …
i HATE to wait longer than 7 minutes to
prepare and cook
ANY meal … !! “
(that Rachel Ray … she’s a slow poke compared to me.. )
…..
” … those Stoffer meals in a bag are wonderful too … !
just add water and cook … !
i heard they’re grown with organs!
oh, sorry .. ! just kidding …
organs … organic …
what’s the difference … ?”
…..
” … can you imagine
Stoffers macaroni and cheese with
organs?
” … It’s grown IN organs, tuber head … !
that’s why they call it organically grown … !!
jeeze, sometimes i think the world has
a lower IQ than me … !”
…..
” … well … i’m glad you allowed me to once again,
express myself
jennifer …
i know you always
take my opinions seriously …
i hope this helps … “
…..
” … i could go on forever when it
comes to cooking real good …
after all
i have a great attitude about food … !
i LOVE to eat it … !
…..
” … hey Jennifer … !”
” … i can’t wait to interpret the next chapter in
Little Monster Girl’s
(https://lmgcomic.wordpress.com)
interesting life … !!”
(those teeth … ! yeowee … !
…..
” … ok dear readers … you decide who’s the
Yinger or the Yanger …
but don’t get Yanger mixed up with
Wanker … ok?
Kurt Struble Writing 