We got home around nine thirty.

She was angry and wouldn’t speak to me.

“You knew all along didn’t you!” she said …

“Well kind of.  But i was hoping.”

Pause …

“Well, you know how it is!” But she didn’t believe me!

To make matters worse, the pilot light had blown out and we didn’t have any god forsaken matches!  The ones we had were wet!!

Then she got sick!

I thought at first she might be pregnant!

I asked her but as soon as the words spilled out of my mouth I realized we hadn’t had sex in over a year!


She cried after that.

“I wasn’t going to tell you,” she said in between sobs and retching.

“I’m pregnant with Dick’s baby!”

“What a relief,” I thought!

I’d been wanting to break up with her for almost five years!

That son of a bitch Dick had actuality done me a favor!