Hey how ‘ya doin’? …… Oh yeah? ….. Me too. ….. Well, hey listen! Last night I laid on the couch watching movies and dozing until three thirty. So, I had like, three hours sleep. This morning when i got up I was shocked by what I saw in the mirror. I should have spent the rest of the day in bed with the curtains closed, the lights off and no mirrors in the room. I looked like shit!
Couldn’t look that bad? ….. You don’t believe me?! ….. Wull, let’s put it this way. It looked like I had aged about 5 … maybe 10 years. Hell, maybe more! … Pause … I was afraid to look at myself in the light after I peed so it’s possible I looked even older.
What? …… How old? ….. Hell, I don’t know, it’s anybodies guess although I wouldn’t want anybody to guess. ….. Why? ….. Anybody who knows me would think my real name is Dorian Fucking Gray that’s why! … Pause … . I don’t know, man. I might even look like I’m 100! I could probably get a job with a carnival as the oldest looking middle aged man in history, that’s how nasty I look.
Couldn’t be that bad? …… Pause … Well, let’s just say, you wouldn’t want to be seen with me in public. People would mistake you for a health care worker with a patient on his last legs. Maybe they’d want information from you about hospice.
Hey, I gotta go man. I’m feelin’ my age. The couch awaits my sleepy body. Take it easy, ok? … What? … Wull, Shit! You take care of it ok? I’m too tired. Later dude ….