By now, the G note had ratcheted up to a pretty good level. I mumbled my way around the corner and disappeared behind the bathroom door …
While washing my hands in there, the words ‘behind the green door’ a porn movie with a porn star whose baby face had ironically, appeared on the front of the Ivory Snow laundry soap box years ago, popped into my head.
When I came out of the bathroom the laughter had mostly died down. I knew they were all wondering what smart ass comment I would make next which, I’m never sure what I’m going to say next so I was just as interested to know as they were.
Anyway, walking past Scissors Lady I was surprised to hear myself say, “Have you ever heard of the movie Behind the Green Door?” Which was barely connected with anything that had happened during the last ten or fifteen minutes but I blurted it out anyway.
“Yes … but I’ve never seen it.”
I probably could have said something but I couldn’t remember the name of the porn star … Marilyn Chambers. Since I couldn’t remember her name my mind went blank.
Lacking anything else to say, which doesn’t happen very often, I said over my shoulder walking away, “Wull, it was a porn movie.”
I sat down, continued to read People Magazine, feeling just as confused about the ‘green door’ comment as everyone else probably felt.
I was pretty embarrassed leaving everyone hanging like that. I beat up on myself a little. Not too bad though. No lasting bruises. I looked up to see if anyone was looking at me.
No one could see where I was sitting so, I took the dental tape out of my pocket and flossed while reading about Kim Kardashian’s wedding.