Hey hi .. how ‘ya doin? I’m trying to stay warm mostly … What?! Not that cold? You gotta be shitin’ me.  Do you want to know how frickin’ cold it is up here?  it’s fucking cold, cold, cold that’s how freeking cold it is.  It was so cold that when i got up this morning i wanted to climb into the refrigerator to get warmed up.  That’s how  cold it was.  Holy crap!  

Holy crap!? ….. Oh yeah, that’s a funny one too.  Do you want to know about holy crap? Let’s put it this way.  If some priest would have taken a crap in the front yard of the rectory this morning, it would have froze to his ass like an icicle .. before it hit the ground!!  Can you picture that?  The steam coming off that thing would have turned to snow. it probably would have covered his boots. Now that’s some holy shit!  The Bishop would probably call something like that a miracle!  A life changing event! They’d probably make a saint out of the guy.  St. Urassmus the first, right?  

… Hey, I gotta go.  When I peed it made a hole in the ice but I didn’t flush because you called so I think the hole froze up.  I have to find the awl I think I put in my toolbox a while back. ….. What for?  Oh, sorry.  I don’t have an ice pick that’s why.  I’ve got my work cut out for me so I gotta get going.  Hey, take care ….  What? Yeah?  Ok see you later. … Whaaat? ….  Oh yeah,  I love you too.  Bye …